Has anyone reading this been the subject of a vegetarian attack? It doesn't take place the same way you may expect a traditional attack. There are no guns fired and no punches thrown. No one gets stabbed in one of these vegetarian assaults. No, they just look for the nearest overweight person and scream at them about killing things with faces. These ridiculous, anti-bacon tactics will no longer be tolerated. It's time to put on your bacon t-shirts, gentlemen.
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
We are the kings of this planet. No other species can begin to compare to what we've accomplished and done through our short history. It was always this way. We had to fight our way to the top. There were some pretty terrible things outside of our caves with huge teeth that wanted to make us into their dinner. It is only fair and right that we can make a dinner out of anything we choose. I'll eat lion if it tastes good just to say that I had.
It doesn't help much that every celebrity you've ever wanted to see in the nude has gotten all riled up about animals being killed for food. Have you seen some of these ads? It's worse than a beer commercial. They use half-naked ladies to make us think that there is a slim chance they'll want to spend some time with you if you just stopped eating bacon. These are all lies! Those women would hate you whether you just ate a BLT or a salad!
Well, I'm not taking this abuse any longer! I'm standing up for my rights as a bacon-loving American this very instant. I'm putting on my bacon t-shirt, and I'm going to use that bacon t-shirt as a badge of ultimate authority against these terrible plant-eaters! I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take it anymore! Now...where did I put that bacon?
I know for a fact that something had to die for me to eat the steak I'm going to have for dinner tonight. I try not to think about the pain of some living thing and just enjoy my darn steak. These veggie-nuts are relentless, though. They want to show me videos of slaughterhouses and other unpleasantries. I don't want to sound like a jerk, but that one cow fed dozens of families. I'm sorry it had to die, but maybe it might want to think about developing some higher brain functions instead of 4 stomachs the next evolutionary leap.
We are the kings of this planet. No other species can begin to compare to what we've accomplished and done through our short history. It was always this way. We had to fight our way to the top. There were some pretty terrible things outside of our caves with huge teeth that wanted to make us into their dinner. It is only fair and right that we can make a dinner out of anything we choose. I'll eat lion if it tastes good just to say that I had.
It doesn't help much that every celebrity you've ever wanted to see in the nude has gotten all riled up about animals being killed for food. Have you seen some of these ads? It's worse than a beer commercial. They use half-naked ladies to make us think that there is a slim chance they'll want to spend some time with you if you just stopped eating bacon. These are all lies! Those women would hate you whether you just ate a BLT or a salad!
Well, I'm not taking this abuse any longer! I'm standing up for my rights as a bacon-loving American this very instant. I'm putting on my bacon t-shirt, and I'm going to use that bacon t-shirt as a badge of ultimate authority against these terrible plant-eaters! I am mad as hell, and I am not going to take it anymore! Now...where did I put that bacon?
About the Author:
To fill your brain about bacon tee shirts go to bacon tshirts to see how it's done right.
No comments:
Post a Comment