Oh, I know you're going out this year to celebrate Saint Patrick's Day with your friends. I know you're going to get drunk and have a great time. I also know that you're probably going to forget to wear your green Irish tee shirts and you're going to get a plug pinched out of you. It's not your fault. It's society's fault, because we were taught at an early age that if you don't wear green then you are due for some serious pinch-bruises.
I remember back when I was a young lad being terrorized by pinches one year on March 17th. You see, my family moved to America from Ireland when I was just seven years old. That's right, folks. I am an honest-to-God Ireland immigrant. Luckily, I came when I did and I didn't have to help build the railroads or anything crazy like that. I just had to go to school and listen to the kids make fun of my accent. I had no idea that Americans even celebrated Saint Patrick's Day with green Irish shirts, or anything else for that matter!
You know that America hijacked Saint Patrick's Day from Ireland and turned it into some weird, different holiday, right? When we celebrate Saint Patrick's Day, we do it by dressing up nice and going to church. Most Irish are Catholic, and Saint Patrick's is one of many Saint's Days we observe. We don't wear green Irish tshirts and we don't eat corned beef. We actually eat roasted chicken on Saint Patrick's Day most often than not, because it's cheap and cooks a whole lot faster for a lot of family.
On my first year of school in America, I made lots of friends. All of that friendship was thrown out the window when I came into the class of St. Patrick's Day with no green on whatsoever. Everyone else was either wearing green or had on Irish pride t-shirts. I guess they were expecting the same out of me, because they punished me to tears for the length of the day. I even called my mom and pretended to be sick so that she would come and get me. Kids can be the meanest people in the world when they turn against you like that.
Do you see how absolutely awful kids can be? The next day I went back to school, and everything was normal and back just the way it was before. Do you know who else acts like that? Drunk people do, that's who. Don't try to argue with me. A drunk person can turn mean and malicious at the drop of a hat and then pretend nothing happened the next day. Go ahead and forget to wear you traditional Irish tees this year and see what happens. You have been warned, my friends.
I remember back when I was a young lad being terrorized by pinches one year on March 17th. You see, my family moved to America from Ireland when I was just seven years old. That's right, folks. I am an honest-to-God Ireland immigrant. Luckily, I came when I did and I didn't have to help build the railroads or anything crazy like that. I just had to go to school and listen to the kids make fun of my accent. I had no idea that Americans even celebrated Saint Patrick's Day with green Irish shirts, or anything else for that matter!
You know that America hijacked Saint Patrick's Day from Ireland and turned it into some weird, different holiday, right? When we celebrate Saint Patrick's Day, we do it by dressing up nice and going to church. Most Irish are Catholic, and Saint Patrick's is one of many Saint's Days we observe. We don't wear green Irish tshirts and we don't eat corned beef. We actually eat roasted chicken on Saint Patrick's Day most often than not, because it's cheap and cooks a whole lot faster for a lot of family.
On my first year of school in America, I made lots of friends. All of that friendship was thrown out the window when I came into the class of St. Patrick's Day with no green on whatsoever. Everyone else was either wearing green or had on Irish pride t-shirts. I guess they were expecting the same out of me, because they punished me to tears for the length of the day. I even called my mom and pretended to be sick so that she would come and get me. Kids can be the meanest people in the world when they turn against you like that.
Do you see how absolutely awful kids can be? The next day I went back to school, and everything was normal and back just the way it was before. Do you know who else acts like that? Drunk people do, that's who. Don't try to argue with me. A drunk person can turn mean and malicious at the drop of a hat and then pretend nothing happened the next day. Go ahead and forget to wear you traditional Irish tees this year and see what happens. You have been warned, my friends.
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