Well, the first thing I have to admit is that I go out and drink on a pretty regular basis. Usually once during the week and once on the weekend, but sometimes more. I like to wear goofy, funny t-shirts on these outings because I find that they make great conversation starters. On the night in question, I decided to wear a shirt that read, "Don't Kanye me or I'll Chris Brown you and Tiger Woods your mom." In my opinion, that's a great shirt. Anyone who know anything about those three celebrities has an opinion about what they did and will jump into a conversation about them.
Being that Wednesday is one of the better nights to get soused with my comrades, we all met up at Paul's Place at around 7pm and I was proudly sporting one of my new funny t-shirts. My two friends and I ate some chicken wings, and starting pouring beer on top of them in our bellies. I love my bar and we were having a fantastic time, and there were even some girls there that have never been there before. We bought them drinks, we made them laugh, and turned the charm up to 10 while we played some shuffleboard. All in all, the night started off pretty great.
My funny t-shirts were always a hit, but this one was getting lots of attention. Maybe because it was so soon after the whole Taylor Swift incident, or maybe people are just sick and tired of Kanye West. Who knows, really. All I know is that I was getting super-drunk and I had passed the point of caring about what funny t-shirts I was wearing or about the massive hangover I was sure to have tomorrow. Beer turned into whiskey and that, in turn, became boilermakers. Do you know how stupid a boilermaker can make you? If you don't know, then good for you. You're winning.
The bar closed its doors around 2:00am, and I was in severe need of something to eat. Eggs, a burger, pizza, bacon...yes, bacon would be the best thing. I had to find an all-night diner and I needed something that had bacon in it. My best friend hailed a cab, and we managed to communicate to him with our drunken English that we needed food. He said he knew just the place and took off with us deep into the bowels of Manhattan, which means he was taking us really far away for the extra cab fare. I guess he wasn't as big of a fan of funny t-shirts as most. Someone else was, though, because as soon as me and my buddy walked into the diner, a guy sitting off to my left said, "Nice shirt, buddy."
I am not a fighter, I'll admit. I usually fend off fights with a witty quip and a disarming smile. When I've drank boilermakers all night, however, there is no chance of that happening whatsoever. Whoever was about to fight me, would only meet drunken slaps in opposition. I turned around, and lost all my will to fight or insult. The two guys sitting in the booth behind me were twin goliaths. Giant, angry-looking, black guys in suits. What in the world had I gotten myself into with my funny t-shirts? I stared at them with a look of shock on my face forever, but they couldn't maintain for long. They broke out laughing, and I gave an uneasy smile. It turns out that they were security guys for Kanye, and they disliked him about as much as anyone could.
Luckily, neither one of them liked him very much. The whole situation could have gone much different. They both laughed at me until tears were in their eyes when I asked them never to tell Kanye about it in all of the seriousness a drunk man can summon. I learned that night to choose my funny t-shirts a bit more carefully. You never know if you're going to run into Kanye Westor giant security guys who know him.
Being that Wednesday is one of the better nights to get soused with my comrades, we all met up at Paul's Place at around 7pm and I was proudly sporting one of my new funny t-shirts. My two friends and I ate some chicken wings, and starting pouring beer on top of them in our bellies. I love my bar and we were having a fantastic time, and there were even some girls there that have never been there before. We bought them drinks, we made them laugh, and turned the charm up to 10 while we played some shuffleboard. All in all, the night started off pretty great.
My funny t-shirts were always a hit, but this one was getting lots of attention. Maybe because it was so soon after the whole Taylor Swift incident, or maybe people are just sick and tired of Kanye West. Who knows, really. All I know is that I was getting super-drunk and I had passed the point of caring about what funny t-shirts I was wearing or about the massive hangover I was sure to have tomorrow. Beer turned into whiskey and that, in turn, became boilermakers. Do you know how stupid a boilermaker can make you? If you don't know, then good for you. You're winning.
The bar closed its doors around 2:00am, and I was in severe need of something to eat. Eggs, a burger, pizza, bacon...yes, bacon would be the best thing. I had to find an all-night diner and I needed something that had bacon in it. My best friend hailed a cab, and we managed to communicate to him with our drunken English that we needed food. He said he knew just the place and took off with us deep into the bowels of Manhattan, which means he was taking us really far away for the extra cab fare. I guess he wasn't as big of a fan of funny t-shirts as most. Someone else was, though, because as soon as me and my buddy walked into the diner, a guy sitting off to my left said, "Nice shirt, buddy."
I am not a fighter, I'll admit. I usually fend off fights with a witty quip and a disarming smile. When I've drank boilermakers all night, however, there is no chance of that happening whatsoever. Whoever was about to fight me, would only meet drunken slaps in opposition. I turned around, and lost all my will to fight or insult. The two guys sitting in the booth behind me were twin goliaths. Giant, angry-looking, black guys in suits. What in the world had I gotten myself into with my funny t-shirts? I stared at them with a look of shock on my face forever, but they couldn't maintain for long. They broke out laughing, and I gave an uneasy smile. It turns out that they were security guys for Kanye, and they disliked him about as much as anyone could.
Luckily, neither one of them liked him very much. The whole situation could have gone much different. They both laughed at me until tears were in their eyes when I asked them never to tell Kanye about it in all of the seriousness a drunk man can summon. I learned that night to choose my funny t-shirts a bit more carefully. You never know if you're going to run into Kanye Westor giant security guys who know him.
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